One psychologist said

That people keep coming back because of the odd strike; ie it is like wining every now and then while gambling or seeing other people win; it keeps you coming back; that goal just seems to be right infront of you. That is why lotteries have instant win prizes etc.

The hard part is realizing any of that. I pretty well had to give up on finding anyone before I slowed down enough to get anywhere. Before that I alternated between being remote and being so intense; nobody wanted to keep close.

One person posted that nobody will help you on your quest to change. But I can't swallow that. There are lots of gropus that are great for support; for working on depression or drinking problems or assertivness or a host of other problems. Friends will go so far and so will family. There are lots of people who want to help; but too much emotional intensity will drive them away.

I'm becoming a bit of a cynic.

I know women who meet guys thru the net; but I can't say that it works very well the other way. But for everyone, men and women, part of the solution is to have a life; to have interests; to be curious and to explore the world, perhaps by travel or reading or study or whatever. It is an aimless kind of thing. It gets you to no particular place quickly and it sure isn't a direct way to get dates. But it is a start and it gives one a purpose in life. It gives you something to talk about and share with others. There is nothing like being curious to help one ask questions. Similarily, there is nothing like some personal explorat- ion to give one something to talk about.

The idea

The idea of blacks and whites dating, once highly divisive, is now broadly accepted.

There also has been a steady decline in the number of Americans who say they have little in common with people of other races.